I recently watched the film De-Lovely, a 2004 musical biopic of Cole Porter, from his first meeting with Linda Lee Thomas until his death. The Cole Porter songs throughout are a delight in themselves, and, because of the story, the ambiguity of many of the lyrics becomes clearer.

What I found most fascinating, from a counseling/coaching angle, is the lifelong love story between Thomas and Porter. By believing in him and accepting him for what he was, including his need to have sexual relations with males, she gave him himself and made him believe in himself and his talent. Creative people are a special breed with a deep need to explore various realms to foster nourish creativity. And Porter had heaps of that.

Because they had no secrets, Porter’s love for Thomas deepened and grew over time. Evidently her love for him was without strings and enduring from the start. He found that hard to believe, but she constantly proved it. (Of course she didn’t like everything he did and worried about his getting into a big scandal that would hurt both of them. But they weathered the storms and love lasted till the end.)

The importance of being open—and being able to have no secrets—with your spouse is essential. Not everyone can do that, and certainly depending upon the people involved, some aspects of character would rule out even trying. But people vary. What should destroy some relationships strengthens and deepens others and gives them themselves in much more profound ways that most might imagine.

While some people were not terribly enthusiastic about the film, Roger Ebert, I believe, grasped its significance. Read his review.

October 16 is World Dictionary Day, marking the birthday of the great American lexicographer Noah Webster. Born in Connecticut in 1758, Webster published his first dictionary, A Compendious Dictionary of the English Language, in 1806, but it was his two-volume American Dictionary of the English Language published in 1828 (when he was 70 years old) that earned him his place in history as the foremost lexicographer of American English.

The statistics alone speak for themselves: Webster’s American Dictionary took him 28 years to complete. In preparation he learned 26 languages, including Old English, Ancient Greek, Latin, and Sanskrit. The final draft listed and defined 70,000 words, more than any other dictionary in history (and 30,000 more than Samuel Johnson’s dictionary had almost a century earlier). 1 in every 6 of Webster’s words had never been listed in a dictionary before; as a dictionary of American English, he radically chose to include a whole new vocabulary of emerging Americanisms like squash, skunk, hickory, chowder and applesauce for the very first time. And he famously took the opportunity to push through his ideas on English spelling reform – some of which took (center, color, honor, ax), and some of which didn’t (dawter, wimmen, cloke, tung).

Despite all of his efforts, Webster’s dictionary sold just 2,500 copies on its publication and he was compelled to mortgage his home in New Haven to fund a second edition in 1840. Three years later, having never quite gained the recognition his work deserved in his lifetime, he died at the age of 84. Today however, as both a literary and scholarly achievement Webster’s 1828 dictionary is widely regarded as both the first truly comprehensive dictionary of American English, and as one of the most important dictionaries in the history of our language. So to mark World Dictionary Day – and to celebrate what would be Webster’s 256th birthday – here are 26 of some of the most curious, most surprising and most obscure words from Webster’s Dictionary in one handy A to Z.

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For people diagnosed with a physical condition or coping with chronic illness, depression can be a common complication. According to figures from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly 50 percent of asthma patients suffer from depressive symptoms, one in six people who have had a heart attack have major depression, and people with diabetes are twice as likely to be depressed.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

As John Lehrmann, MD, chairman of the psychiatry department at the Medical College of Wisconsin points out, pain associated with an illness can cause depression. “There’s no question that we understand pain is associated with increased risk of depression, and many chronic illnesses cause pain,” he said. However, even when a patient doesn’t have painful symptoms, “living with a chronic illness can affect your sense of who you are. It adds a level of stress to what you already have to live with each day.”

Depression often goes undiagnosed because it can share symptoms with the illness that triggered it, such as changes in sleeping and eating patterns or general fatigue. Fortunately, as Dr. Lehrmann noted, primary care practices are increasingly integrating mental health screening and treatment into their clinics.

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Good holiday gifts
October 23rd, 2014

I’ll make my usual offer of donating 30% of the price of my popular Afghan Hound memoir, Baltho, The Dog Who Owned a Man, and 20% of any of my other books, to any good cause, BUT ONLY WHEN you order directly from me on my site. I have no way of tracking otherwise. I’ve made this offer earlier. Please remember that it’s a standing offer. Just be sure to tell me when you order what you want me to donate to. www.thomasrameywatson.com/edit

These popular books make good gifts, by the way. Some buy extras to give to charitable events, fund-raising drives, and so on.

The books are also available on amazon.com and from other online outlets and local bookstores. www.thomasrameywatson.com/edit

These popular books make good gifts, by the way. Some buy extras to give to charitable events, fund-raising drives, and so on.

The books are also available on amazon.com and from other online outlets and local bookstores.

I was afraid of love. I know it might look like I was looking for love, but I was really following what A Course in Miracles describes as “the ego’s dictate”: seek and do not find.

What drove this attraction, as it has done many others before, was a hidden belief that love is dangerous. That if I fully dive into my love for my husband, it will engulf me, swallow me whole. There’ll be no “me” left. Just like when I was a young girl and my mum’s alcoholism drowned the whole family in her sorrows.

What drove this attraction was the possibility that I might be deeply, unwaveringly loveable. That it might actually be possible to be in love, on purpose and successful.

What drove this attraction was a subconscious drive, handed down through generations of women in my family, to sabotage happiness and push love away. I’m one of the lucky ones, married to my soul mate. This cannot possibly last. I must create trouble at base camp.

The work I live by and teach reminds me daily that I have a choice about who I want to be in the middle of my struggle. Deny what is happening inside of me, and I set myself up for a fall.

Tell the truth, and I make way for love.

So I shared it with Nige. All of it. It was hard. I felt swamped with shame. But I did it anyway. I probably saved my marriage in the process, and I’ll do it again if I have to.

I want to cheat on my husband some days.

But I want to know him, and to be known by him, more than I want to prove my fears right.

And that, my friends, is why I tell the truth.

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Some helpful information for many of us.

You may be oblivious to your partner’s cheating ways, but that doesn’t mean everyone else is. In fact, a fascinating new study suggests that strangers can quickly spot a cheater just by watching how couples get along.

“People can determine whether complete strangers were cheaters or non-cheaters by simply watching them interact for a short period of time,” Dr. Nathaniel Lambert, an assistant professor at Brigham Young University’s School of Family Life and the lead author of the study, told The Huffington Post in an email.

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At Happify, we’re translating the latest cutting-edge research into fun and interactive activities and games that help you build your happiness skills and form life-changing habits. Optimism, self-confidence, gratitude, hope, compassion, purpose, empathy—these are all qualities that anyone can own. You just have to learn how. And doing so will change your life.

Happify’s S.T.A.G.E. framework helps you build five key happiness skills: Savor, Thank, Aspire, Give, and Empathize.

Good article. More.

October 10th, 2014

My popular books make great summer reading—as well as gifts. My memoir, Baltho, The Dog Who Owned a Man is about my remarkable Afghan hound rescue named Baltho, with whom I shared a psychic bond. He helped me in my counseling and coaching practice by pointing out things I missed.

Balthocovericonsize

I also recommend my two new books of poetry, The Necessity of Symbols,

TRWatson_NecessityOfSymbols_coverand Love Threads, a remarkable narrative of an often paranormal love affair that takes place mostly in the soul realm. LoveThreads_COVER_LS

In my books I often talks about my many mystical experiences, not only with the living, but with those who have passed on.

 

For more on Baltho and his three incarnations (he’s now back for the third time, wanting to be known as Melchior), see this article by British writer and researcher, Geoff Ward.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is Melchior, along with Melchior and his cat Noir. Melchior is working on becoming my co-therapist again.

Melchior_&_NoirOLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

If you’d like signed and inscribed copies of my books you can buy them from this site, for the regular retail price. They’re also available from Amazon.com and other outlets.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The remarkable tale of friendship focuses on Pudditat, a stray feline with a fierce reputation as a bully who grew close to Tervel, a blind farm dog afraid to leave the safety of his bed. Pudditat becomes a seeing-eye-dog of sorts, leading Tervel around with her tail in a delightful show of animals helping each other out.

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Thomas Ramey Watson is an affiliate faculty member of Regis University's College of Professional Studies. He has served as an Episcopal chaplain (lay), trained as a psychotherapist, done postdoctoral work at Cambridge University, and was named a Research Fellow at Yale University.

In addition to his scholarly writings, he is a published author of poetry and fiction.

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