Archive for the ‘depression’ Category

The pros and cons of marijuana

Monday, April 30th, 2018

Erez Batat writes:

Whenever I read a blog about cannabis, I feel like I am watching a presidential debate with only one candidate.
The blog will either demand to legalize the plant due to its magical properties, or will list the horrific impact it will have on society.

As always, the truth is neither here nor there. I never smoked weed in my youth; in fact, I judged those who did, which made them hide it from me. I got high for the first time when I was 35, and was immediately intrigued with the effect it had on my mind. So, I documented it in my journal.

Here is a simple breakdown of what I learned from a few years of occasional use of pot. I hope it will help demystify the ambiguity around the plant, especially amidst the increasing legalization we are experiencing (it is now recreationally legal in Colorado and Washington states).

More.

6 lessons in happiness from one of the happiest nations in the world

Friday, April 13th, 2018

Natalie Matushenko writes:

I share what I have learned about being happy over the past six years in the hope that it will help others reflect on the changes we can all make to be happier in our lives.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

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Do You Want To Raise A Kind Child? Here’s How

Monday, April 2nd, 2018

We as parents know from experience that in the big picture of life, kindness and happiness are closely linked. Kids, however, do not have the life experience to see this big picture. In their life with friends or at school, retaliating against the kid who teased them often seems like the better choice. The more we can explain and model the inherent benefits of kindness to both others and themselves, the more this dynamic will be clear to them.

This is another area where research is our friend. Numerous studies have shown that even among middle schoolers, those who practice kindness are more popular, happier and less likely to be bullied.

More.

A real struggle for the soul of America is going on. I hope that we can remember to value the qualities that have truly made us great, a country that others look up to because we value truth and justice. Rearing kids to have good values, to be kind, and emphasizing it in our own lives, is crucial. Without human decency the country rips apart into a Mad Mac world. That is not the America that most of us signed up for. TRW

A starter guide for Shadow Work that actually works

Thursday, March 22nd, 2018

Via Ivy Rose Latchford writes:

From what I was reading at the time, most people felt that the shadow included the worst parts of ourselves, and in order to be successful, the seekers would need to integrate these characteristics into their personality.

This didn’t really make sense to me. Why would I want to integrate my jealousy into my personality? I understood figuring out a shadow aspect, accepting it, and working on it, but I wanted to be less of my “bad” characteristics—not more.

After many years of introspective work, I’ve found that it is about integration. However, integration can happen naturally once you discover the root of the shadow.

I’ve found that there are three major steps to shadow work:
1) You have to do the work and dig down to the roots of the shadow.
2) Unravel the reasons why it’s one of your shadow aspects.
3) Allow it to naturally integrate.

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The Real Causes Of Depression Have Been Discovered, And They’re Not What You Think

Monday, March 12th, 2018

Johann Hari, author most recently of Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions, writes:

The more I investigated depression and anxiety, the more I found that, far from being caused by a spontaneously malfunctioning brain, depression and anxiety are mostly being caused by events in our lives. If you find your work meaningless and you feel you have no control over it, you are far more likely to become depressed. If you are lonely and feel that you can’t rely on the people around you to support you, you are far more likely to become depressed. If you think life is all about buying things and climbing up the ladder, you are far more likely to become depressed. If you think your future will be insecure, you are far more likely to become depressed. I started to find a whole blast of scientific evidence that depression and anxiety are not caused in our skulls, but by the way many of us are being made to live. There are real biological factors, like your genes, that can make you significantly more sensitive to these causes, but they are not the primary drivers.

And that led me to the scientific evidence that we have to try to solve our depression and anxiety crises in a very different way (alongside chemical anti-depressants, which should of course remain on the table).

To do that, we need to stop seeing depression and anxiety as an irrational pathology, or a weird misfiring of brain chemicals. They are terribly painful – but they make sense. Your pain is not an irrational spasm. It is a response to what is happening to you. To deal with depression, you need to deal with its underlying causes. On my long journey, I learned about seven different kinds of anti-depressants – ones that are about stripping out the causes, rather than blunting the symptoms. Releasing your shame is only the start.

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What’s better than the cold comfort of cliches for the hurting?

Saturday, February 24th, 2018

There’s something about being heartbroken that makes other people deeply uncomfortable.
It’s not just the excess of emotions; often, it’s a feeling of being helpless and unable to make the heartbroken person feel the slightest bit better. So what do we do when we are faced with someone’s grief? Why, we pull out a few shop-worn yet tried and true clichés to hand to them.

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What almost dying taught Tracy White about living

Monday, February 12th, 2018

I thought I was leading the “right life”—prestigious college, fancy job in New York City, kind husband, happy child, good friends, nice house…then I got incurable cancer.
The doctor thought I had 15 months to get my affairs in order.

When bad stuff happens to us, even the most enlightened can’t help but ask, “Why me?” I just wanted to understand—why did I get cancer? I needed to believe the cancer was happening for a reason.

Now, two years later—after a no-holds-barred healing journey that blended conventional, alternative, and woo-woo treatments—I was beginning to understand the “why me” part.

One reason I got sick was I was living the wrong life.

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10 Things You Can Do to Improve Your Relationship

Friday, January 19th, 2018

Our relationship with our significant other is what motivates us to get up each day, go to work and come back home at the end of the day. And yet, our relationship often is what we ignore; we allow other, less important parts of our life, to come to the forefront and push the relationship to the back burner. Here are ten things you can do right now to help make your relationship stronger and more satisfying.

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Surviving the holidays after we’ve broken up with our mothers.

Sunday, December 24th, 2017

This article is by Justin Haley Phillips and centers on a woman’s view, but I know from personal experience that men sometimes have to break up with their mothers too. If a parent is so toxic that you can no longer have contact, then you must distance yourself, female or male.
–Thomas Ramey Watson

Phillips writes:

If someone hasn’t experienced a toxic relationship with a parent, their first thought is generally, “But she’s your mother!”

As though giving birth renders a woman infallible…
As though “a mother’s love” is guaranteed selfless and pristine…
As though we should sacrifice our mental and emotional (and perhaps physical) health on the altar of the doting daughter…

Mothers are people, too, and while I love mine dearly, there simply came a time when I needed to set myself apart from her in order to grow.

It was not an easy decision to make.

More.

How To ‘Break Up’ With A Narcissistic Parent

Thursday, December 14th, 2017

“Realizing and accepting that you have one or more narcissistic parents is a long and intensely painful road,” Julie L. Hall told HuffPost. “That’s because children, even adult children, continue to desire love and approval, often against all reason.”

Ultimately, asserting low or no contact with a narcissist parent can be a healthy, liberating choice.

“Creating distance with your parent means giving up the delusion that they will someday change and releasing the feeling of responsibility for them they may have instilled in you,” Hall said.

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Thomas Ramey Watson is an affiliate faculty member of Regis University's College of Professional Studies. He has served as an Episcopal chaplain (lay), trained as a psychotherapist, done postdoctoral work at Cambridge University, and was named a Research Fellow at Yale University.

In addition to his scholarly writings, he is a published author of poetry and fiction.

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