Archive for the ‘happiness’ Category

Child Therapist Gives Gorgeous Explanation Of What Good Parenting Looks Like

Saturday, June 24th, 2017

”A couple of weeks ago a child therapist that I know looked at my kids and said, ‘You’re such a good mum,’” she wrote in the caption.

Hall said she responded that she doesn’t feel that way about herself, as she struggles through the chaos of raising her kids, losing her temper and feeling impatient.

The therapist’s reply stuck with her:

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This Simple Mental Shift Can Enrich Everything In Your Life

Wednesday, May 10th, 2017

Those who are able to shift away from the obsessive chase for more, Twist says, often experience a renewal of sorts. “When you let go of trying to get more of what you don’t really need, it frees up oceans of energy,” she says.

That energy, Twist continues, can then be channeled into a different endeavor: paying attention to what you already have. “When you actually pay attention to nourish, love and share what you already have, it expands,” Twist explains.

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What It Took Me Far Too Long To Realize About Loneliness

Wednesday, April 26th, 2017

The author of Searching for John Hughes offers us an honest, unflinching look at his struggles with isolation.
Jason Diamond Oprah.com

I’ve dealt with depression for most of my life. But it had been a long, long time since I’d been truly isolated, nobody there when I got home or waiting in the next room. As a kid, I got used to being lonely, moving between my parents’ houses during their divorce, trying to figure out a way to fit into yet another school.

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Smart Kids Are More Likely To Experiment With Pot And Alcohol

Saturday, April 8th, 2017

The researchers regard their findings as a warning against assuming that teens with poor academic performance are more likely to abuse substances than their peers. They also note that while high-achieving teens may eventually get into good universities and secure high-paying jobs, substance abuse can derail those promising futures. For instance, some evidence suggests that marijuana can have a harmful effect on developing brains, and alcohol use among minors is linked to a higher risk of fatal car collisions, accidental injuries, alcohol poisoning and suicide.

“Reducing harmful substance use in this age group is important, no matter the level of academic ability, given the immediate risks to health and the longer term consequences,” researchers James Williams and Gareth Hagger-Johnson write in their article, published in the journal BMJ Open.

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9 Signs You’re Dealing With An Emotional Manipulator

Monday, March 20th, 2017

A few years ago, Facebook, in conjunction with researchers from Cornell and the University of California, conducted an experiment in which they intentionally played with the emotions of 689,000 users by manipulating their feeds so that some users only saw negative stories while others only saw positive stories. Sure enough, when these people posted their own updates, they were greatly influenced by the mood of the posts they’d been shown.

Facebook caught a lot of flak over the experiment, primarily because none of the “participants” gave their consent to join the study. Perhaps more frightening than Facebook’s faux pas was just how easily people’s emotions were manipulated. After all, if Facebook can manipulate your emotions just by tweaking your newsfeed, imagine how much easier this is for a real, live person who knows your weaknesses and triggers. A skilled emotional manipulator can destroy your self-esteem and even make you question your sanity.

It’s precisely because emotional manipulation can be so destructive that it’s important for you to recognize it in your own life. It’s not as easy as you might think, because emotional manipulators are typically very skillful. They start out with subtle manipulation and raise the stakes over time, so slowly that you don’t even realize it’s happening. Fortunately, emotional manipulators are easy enough to spot if you know what to look for.

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10 Myths You Shouldn’t Believe About Psychopaths and Sociopaths

Friday, February 17th, 2017

Married a psychopath? Friend dating someone you suspect to be a sociopath? Those aren’t terms to throw around lightly, as they both carry some significant weight. But if you can read the signs and try to make an educated assessment, it will only help to know the facts. Knowing what you’re dealing with and coming to terms with the psychological disorders of those around us can make things easier for everyone.

Of course, terms like psychopath and sociopath make people uneasy. We generally use them to refer to people who act out of sorts or even violently. They’re used to describe manipulative, difficult people. Folks most of us want to avoid. But a lot of what we assume about these disorders is wrong — and can actually make it harder to interact and connect with those who have them.

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9 Things Marriage Therapists Know Almost Instantly About A Couple

Tuesday, February 7th, 2017

A marriage therapist ― even one who’s worked in the field for years ― can’t know a couple’s full story by the first therapy session. They can tell quite a bit, though. (A spouse’s tendency to avoid eye contact, for instance, reveals more than words could ever say.)

Below, marriage therapists who have been working with couples for years share nine things they can glean about a couple after the first therapy session.

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Our Brains Are Guided More By Empathy Than Selfishness

Tuesday, January 31st, 2017

As the year winds to a close, gifts and giving are foremost in many people’s minds. And now, two new neuroscience studies suggest that our brains prompt us to act more like Santa than Scrooge.

In one study, researchers scanned participants’ brains to identify connections between generous behavior and brain activity. In the other, scientists dampened activity in areas of the brain associated with impulse control, to see if that would alter a person’s empathetic actions.

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What Sex Therapists Tell People Whose Partners Don’t Want Sex

Monday, January 23rd, 2017

Being in a relationship with someone who’s disinterested in sex can feel incredibly lonely. A discrepancy in desire is more common than most people realize, though.

What’s the best way to address it with your spouse? Below, sex therapists share the advice they give people with higher sex drives than their partners.

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New Year’s Thought

Sunday, January 1st, 2017

A big culprit in so many thorny issues facing us is religious dogma that keeps people from really seeing and from there getting ourselves and others in balance. As long as we remain dogmatic, locked in manacles of the mind, as the poet William Blake termed it, we make everything worse, not just for others but for ourselves.

I was thinking the other morning on my way home from yoga of the Two GREAT COMMANDMENTS, which, as Jesus said, are the summation of the Law and the Prophets: 1. Love God with your whole heart and soul and mind. And, 2. Love your neighbor as yourself. To love others rightly we must also love ourselves. Many people do not. To get right we must sort ourselves out with love and kindness, and wisdom.

That’s where good books, and good counsel, can really help.

I’ll end the year with this poem from my collection, The Necessity of Symbols,

20/20

Threading from spool to spool
to spool, frost spins
old stories out
over my windows.

Shrunken cherries left by blackbirds
who’ve read the signs and fled
lie discarded on the lawn.
Like motors, hearts turn—
and turn again—
but refuse, make noise—
absolutely refuse
to start.

Ice covers the city
like a freezer-burned pie.
The fruit trees—no matter their kind—
bear only ice.

Oh stabat mater—Jesus—
stoop—
take the cobwebs from the gashes.
Let wounds brighten.
Let us bear fruit
fit for golden bowls.
Thomas Ramey Watson

Thomas Ramey Watson is an affiliate faculty member of Regis University's College of Professional Studies. He has served as an Episcopal chaplain (lay), trained as a psychotherapist, done postdoctoral work at Cambridge University, and was named a Research Fellow at Yale University.

In addition to his scholarly writings, he is a published author of poetry and fiction.

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