Archive for the ‘parenting’ Category

Who Gets to Choose Which Childhood Experiences Are ‘Appropriate’?

Friday, November 10th, 2017

Fom Christina Berchini’s thoughtful article:

Hard as some parents and guardians might try to shield their children from life’s difficulties and cruelties, other students bring adult issues to our classrooms. I certainly did. My students certainly did. An “appropriate” text, then, is also a text that honors this reality. Students who see their experiences ― however difficult ― reflected in the books they are asked to read might be provided with a coping mechanism through literature.

For example, the well-known young adult novel Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson addresses the issue of teenage rape ― a problem that Anderson’s supporters argue needs to be discussed. Children and teenagers lucky enough to live blissful lives ― the kind of lives my colleague assumed to be the rule, and not the exception ― are also served well by texts that illustrate the real trials and tribulations of childhood and adolescence. Such texts help to build empathetic classroom communities with a more complex understanding of the world, whether or not students have personally experienced such complexities.

Child Therapist Gives Gorgeous Explanation Of What Good Parenting Looks Like

Saturday, June 24th, 2017

”A couple of weeks ago a child therapist that I know looked at my kids and said, ‘You’re such a good mum,’” she wrote in the caption.

Hall said she responded that she doesn’t feel that way about herself, as she struggles through the chaos of raising her kids, losing her temper and feeling impatient.

The therapist’s reply stuck with her:

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Smart Kids Are More Likely To Experiment With Pot And Alcohol

Saturday, April 8th, 2017

The researchers regard their findings as a warning against assuming that teens with poor academic performance are more likely to abuse substances than their peers. They also note that while high-achieving teens may eventually get into good universities and secure high-paying jobs, substance abuse can derail those promising futures. For instance, some evidence suggests that marijuana can have a harmful effect on developing brains, and alcohol use among minors is linked to a higher risk of fatal car collisions, accidental injuries, alcohol poisoning and suicide.

“Reducing harmful substance use in this age group is important, no matter the level of academic ability, given the immediate risks to health and the longer term consequences,” researchers James Williams and Gareth Hagger-Johnson write in their article, published in the journal BMJ Open.

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People With ADHD Have Different Brains

Thursday, March 30th, 2017

Certain brain structures related to emotion and reward are smaller in people with the disorder, new research finds.

The largest-ever brain imaging study on attention deficit hyperactivity disorder has led scientists to say the condition should be considered a neurological disorder, not just a behavioral one.

The brain structures of children with ADHD differ in small but significant ways from those of normally developing children, according to the findings, which were published online in the journal Lancet Psychiatry on Feb. 15.

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9 Things Marriage Therapists Know Almost Instantly About A Couple

Tuesday, February 7th, 2017

A marriage therapist ― even one who’s worked in the field for years ― can’t know a couple’s full story by the first therapy session. They can tell quite a bit, though. (A spouse’s tendency to avoid eye contact, for instance, reveals more than words could ever say.)

Below, marriage therapists who have been working with couples for years share nine things they can glean about a couple after the first therapy session.

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Our Brains Are Guided More By Empathy Than Selfishness

Tuesday, January 31st, 2017

As the year winds to a close, gifts and giving are foremost in many people’s minds. And now, two new neuroscience studies suggest that our brains prompt us to act more like Santa than Scrooge.

In one study, researchers scanned participants’ brains to identify connections between generous behavior and brain activity. In the other, scientists dampened activity in areas of the brain associated with impulse control, to see if that would alter a person’s empathetic actions.

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The Invaluable Lessons Of ‘Watership Down,’ A Dark Classic

Sunday, January 15th, 2017

“Readers like to be upset, excited and bowled over,” Adams continued in his 2015 interview with The Guardian, remembering his early literary preferences. “I can remember weeping when I was little at upsetting things that were read to me, but fortunately my mother and father were wise enough to keep going.”

Of course, not all mothers and fathers are. Many want to shade their kids from the harsh realities of life, a natural instinct hardly worth criticizing here. Some children come face to face with loss regardless ― be it physical, financial, psychological. They are forced to understand grief and resentment firsthand. They are forced to understand that hard work and persistence and focused belief don’t always yield epic outcomes. But others, nestled safely, are not.

Fiction, thankfully, can give us the gift of empathy. The kind of empathy your protective parents might not be able to impart.

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Tennessee Santa grants final wish to child who died in his arms

Wednesday, December 14th, 2016

The boy, who could barely open the PAW Patrol toy that was given to him, hugged the man and asked him several quick questions.

“They say I’m going to die. How can I tell when I get to where I’m going?” the boy asked.

Schmitt-Matzen then told the boy that when he got there to say he was Santa’s No. 1 elf and he’d be let in.

Near the end of the visit, the boy asked one last question: “Santa, can you help me?”

“I wrapped my arms around him. Before I could say anything, he died right there. I let him stay, just kept hugging and holding on to him.”

Schmitt-Matzen said he ran past the family and the nurses’ station crying — questioning whether he was cut out to be Santa.

 

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“We’re still part of the whole, the web of life, of all that is–God, if you like.”

Wednesday, August 24th, 2016

Yesterday I had another of my unusual encounters with an animal. More important than anything in life is my experience with the soul realm. When such things happen, I always feel wiser, stronger, better centered in ultimate Reality.

I attended a monthly Reiki Shares session at the Samadhi Yoga Center on East Colfax in Denver. As I walked past the friendly young woman sitting at the counter, I noticed that she had a very happy black and white dog under her bare feet. It was lying on his side as she massaged it with her feet.

I laughed and said, “Hi Dog–you look happy,” then walked on.

Inside the Reiki room, I heard the dog talking to me. “I want to see you,” he said. I listened further. I’m not good at picking up gender. Actually I’m still not sure about hearing the voice of an animal I don’t know. After Hattie died I became more confident about hearing the voice of one of my companion animals.

I listened.

“I was abused,” he said, “but I’m very happy and grateful now. I’m loved.” I was pretty sure the dog was male.
The words returned while Reiki was performed on me. “I still have trauma about it,” he added.

When I walked out of the gathering room, I moved to the woman at the counter. She had a very sweet, open face, with the creamy complexion of a redhead. Her dog got up and came over to see me. He seemed both friendly and anxious. He kept wanting me to pet him, then backed off, and returned, sniffing at my shoes and legs. I sat down on a chair so I’d be more at his height.

“You smell my dog and cats and all the other animals I hang out with, don’t you?” I said petting him.

“He’s kind of afraid of men,” the woman said.

I asked his name.

“Josko,” she answered.

I told the woman what Josko had said. “He told me how much he loves you and is happy to be yours. He also said he’s been abused.”

The woman shook her head. “No, I’m sure he wasn’t. I got him as a puppy of 6 weeks old. He’s been with me ever since.”

I thought, “I must have been wrong.”

“He was rescued from a hoarder.”

“Early pethood experiences are just as important as early childhood experiences for us,” I assured her.

We went on to talk of the importance of bonding.

“To do that we have to open ourselves, make ourselves vulnerable to the greatest joy–and the deepest pain–imaginable,” I said. A collage of faces of people I knew who just couldn’t do that flashed before me. “I think that’s one of the gifts that our animals give us. They’re easier to bond with than many humans.”

The woman agreed. “We don’t do it very well.”

“It’s the most rewarding, as well as painful thing, we’re called to do,” I added. “It means being open to losing everything, especially the beloved. And the threat of losing ourselves in the process.”

“I think that’s what we’re meant to do” the woman said.

“From that we gain a much deeper, truer sense of self,” I added. That’s the main difference between Western Religious Traditions and Eastern Religious Traditions. “We’re still part of the whole, the web of life, of all that is–God, if you like.”

We May Have Been Wrong About Autism And Empathy

Thursday, April 28th, 2016

[N]ew research, published Tuesday in the journal Scientific Reports, suggests that while social deficiencies are one aspect of autism, this stereotype is nothing more than a myth. In fact, individuals with autism are far from indifferent to the suffering of others.

“It’s a common but very unfortunate misunderstanding that individuals with autism do not care for other people, or that they don’t love other people,” Dr. Paul Wang, senior vice president of medical research for the research and advocacy organization Autism Speaks, who was not involved in the study, told The Huffington Post. “Nothing could be further from the truth.”

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Thomas Ramey Watson is an affiliate faculty member of Regis University's College of Professional Studies. He has served as an Episcopal chaplain (lay), trained as a psychotherapist, done postdoctoral work at Cambridge University, and was named a Research Fellow at Yale University.

In addition to his scholarly writings, he is a published author of poetry and fiction.

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