Posts Tagged ‘Shadow Side’

6 lessons in happiness from one of the happiest nations in the world

Friday, April 13th, 2018

Natalie Matushenko writes:

I share what I have learned about being happy over the past six years in the hope that it will help others reflect on the changes we can all make to be happier in our lives.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Read more

A starter guide for Shadow Work that actually works

Thursday, March 22nd, 2018

Via Ivy Rose Latchford writes:

From what I was reading at the time, most people felt that the shadow included the worst parts of ourselves, and in order to be successful, the seekers would need to integrate these characteristics into their personality.

This didn’t really make sense to me. Why would I want to integrate my jealousy into my personality? I understood figuring out a shadow aspect, accepting it, and working on it, but I wanted to be less of my “bad” characteristics—not more.

After many years of introspective work, I’ve found that it is about integration. However, integration can happen naturally once you discover the root of the shadow.

I’ve found that there are three major steps to shadow work:
1) You have to do the work and dig down to the roots of the shadow.
2) Unravel the reasons why it’s one of your shadow aspects.
3) Allow it to naturally integrate.

More.

The Real Causes Of Depression Have Been Discovered, And They’re Not What You Think

Monday, March 12th, 2018

Johann Hari, author most recently of Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions, writes:

The more I investigated depression and anxiety, the more I found that, far from being caused by a spontaneously malfunctioning brain, depression and anxiety are mostly being caused by events in our lives. If you find your work meaningless and you feel you have no control over it, you are far more likely to become depressed. If you are lonely and feel that you can’t rely on the people around you to support you, you are far more likely to become depressed. If you think life is all about buying things and climbing up the ladder, you are far more likely to become depressed. If you think your future will be insecure, you are far more likely to become depressed. I started to find a whole blast of scientific evidence that depression and anxiety are not caused in our skulls, but by the way many of us are being made to live. There are real biological factors, like your genes, that can make you significantly more sensitive to these causes, but they are not the primary drivers.

And that led me to the scientific evidence that we have to try to solve our depression and anxiety crises in a very different way (alongside chemical anti-depressants, which should of course remain on the table).

To do that, we need to stop seeing depression and anxiety as an irrational pathology, or a weird misfiring of brain chemicals. They are terribly painful – but they make sense. Your pain is not an irrational spasm. It is a response to what is happening to you. To deal with depression, you need to deal with its underlying causes. On my long journey, I learned about seven different kinds of anti-depressants – ones that are about stripping out the causes, rather than blunting the symptoms. Releasing your shame is only the start.

More.

Lucid dreaming and dream yoga for healing

Monday, January 29th, 2018

We’re accustomed to deepening our personal growth journeys during our “waking hours”…

Yet, what if your dreamtime could become a type of night school — a spiritual laboratory where you could raise your consciousness, heal from your past, and even practice learning new skills?

Lucid dreaming is being “awake” and aware that you’re dreaming when you’re asleep… a time where your conscious mind meets your unconscious mind.

Lucid dreaming also leads to lucid living. As you become more conscious during your nighttime, you begin to shift your awareness during your waking life.

Through a centuries-old Tibetan Buddhism form of lucid dreaming, you can move beyond passively participating in your dreams, into deeper states of active transformation.

This powerful, ancient practice, Dream Yoga, is the next level of lucid dreaming, according to author, Dream Yoga expert, and spiritual teacher Andrew Holecek.

Dream Yoga stretches you, turning your nighttime into a time for your most dedicated spiritual practice…

Practicing Dream Yoga opens the door to deep healing allowing you to work directly with your Soul to receive the exact knowledge you need — and in every area of your life from your health to relationships, even your work in the world.

During this rich 8-minute video, Andrew unpacks Dream Yoga and how a nocturnal spiritual practice can help you heal your body, release limiting beliefs and patterns, liberate your creativity, and more.

More.

MY TIMELY NOVEL (CREATIVE NONFICTION), READING THE SIGNS: A PARANORMAL LOVE STORY

Sunday, January 14th, 2018

MY NOVEL–
READING THE SIGNS: A PARANORMAL LOVE STORY

Ted Jones, campus chaplain and English Professor in downtown Denver, doesn’t need more problems. His life has been full of them. More than a few of the clergy seem to think of the church as a sex club, and those who administer the English Department are vipers. Yet, at the beseeching of the spirit of an old woman who appears floating near the stained glass window of St. Elizabeth’s Catholic Church, Ted soon becomes involved with Sharon, the deceased woman’s grown granddaughter.

Damaged though she is, Sharon responds, trying to return the steadfast love that Ted offers. After her grandmother died, she lost that capacity in herself and couldn’t find it in any of the people who professed to love her.

Although Sharon and Ted’s trials are multiple, their love forms the crux of the novel. Such love reaches beyond time and space as we normally conceive them, to involve intersecting planes of existence that touch both past and future.

*******
While fiction, and centrally a love story, it is essentially true. My experiences teaching at CU Denver and the Episcopal Cathedral stick very close to the facts. In light of the current #MeToo movement it is most timely.

*******

The novel ends with a vision of meeting Sharon on the fields of eternity:

For a moment, my earthly sight blurred with tears, I glimpsed Sharon and me. We stood on fields of gold, there, where chronos meets kairos, and earthly time rolls into eternity.

Link to Amazon Reading the Signs page. Here you can examine the cover and read some pages of the book.

Signed copies are also available from me. See WRITING page of this site.

Surviving the holidays after we’ve broken up with our mothers.

Sunday, December 24th, 2017

This article is by Justin Haley Phillips and centers on a woman’s view, but I know from personal experience that men sometimes have to break up with their mothers too. If a parent is so toxic that you can no longer have contact, then you must distance yourself, female or male.
–Thomas Ramey Watson

Phillips writes:

If someone hasn’t experienced a toxic relationship with a parent, their first thought is generally, “But she’s your mother!”

As though giving birth renders a woman infallible…
As though “a mother’s love” is guaranteed selfless and pristine…
As though we should sacrifice our mental and emotional (and perhaps physical) health on the altar of the doting daughter…

Mothers are people, too, and while I love mine dearly, there simply came a time when I needed to set myself apart from her in order to grow.

It was not an easy decision to make.

More.

How To ‘Break Up’ With A Narcissistic Parent

Thursday, December 14th, 2017

“Realizing and accepting that you have one or more narcissistic parents is a long and intensely painful road,” Julie L. Hall told HuffPost. “That’s because children, even adult children, continue to desire love and approval, often against all reason.”

Ultimately, asserting low or no contact with a narcissist parent can be a healthy, liberating choice.

“Creating distance with your parent means giving up the delusion that they will someday change and releasing the feeling of responsibility for them they may have instilled in you,” Hall said.

More.

8 Underrated Qualities To Look For In A Spouse, According To Experts

Tuesday, October 31st, 2017

There are certain important qualities we’re taught to look for in our romantic partners: Are they honest? Are they strong communicators? Are they good at handling money? And the list goes on.

But what about the less obvious signs that someone will make a great husband or wife? We asked relationship experts to tell us what seemingly small things actually say a lot about a person. Below, find out what marriage therapists, psychologists and authors had to say:

More.

Earthquakes, hurricanes, drought, flooding, and fire

Thursday, October 19th, 2017

No matter what the media or your friends and family are telling you, we are at the threshold of our own man-made “hell,” and the Devil Winds are here to remind us that no one is immune.

Earthquakes, hurricanes, drought, flooding, and fire—we are spiritually, morally, and physically out of balance. The winds are a symptom, amplified by the warming trend, igniting a fire in our souls. It is time to tend to our communities, to come together to aid our fellow humankind, and to simplify our experience.

More.

Study says thinking about dying can be healthy

Tuesday, October 10th, 2017

Some people think of death as the terrifying thing at the end of the road. But as we know, death is natural and inevitable.

So, whether you’re writing your will or daydreaming of how awesome your funeral is going to be, a new study says thinking about your own death can be healthy.

More.

For centuries Western Culture encouraged people to meditate on their ends, so that they might live better, more thoughtful, and godly, lives. This has always seemed to me (TRW) a good idea.

Thomas Ramey Watson is an affiliate faculty member of Regis University's College of Professional Studies. He has served as an Episcopal chaplain (lay), trained as a psychotherapist, done postdoctoral work at Cambridge University, and was named a Research Fellow at Yale University.

In addition to his scholarly writings, he is a published author of poetry and fiction.

more...